Pamela thought the therapist sounded like an idiot. She thought that the dentist was a secret sadist; even Joshua, who still maintained that the dentist was just "a scared guy," thought he'd acted like a jerk. Doreen said he reminded her of a guy who had raped her some years back. Jill reminded her that the dentist felt he didn't know her well enough to rape her.
"Well, this guy didn't technically rape me, either," said Doreen. "It was more of a head trip. He was like a poodle on my leg for months, even following me into my house to bug me. So finally, the last time he did that, I said, 'Look, I don't give a shit. You want it so bad, you can have it. Just do it and then get the fuck out of my life.' And I took my pants off and just lay on the bed. I thought he'd be too embarrassed to do it, but he wasn't. He fucked me."
"Did he at least get lost after that?"
"Yeah." Doreen laughed and blew smoke. "That was the good part."
 he decided to write the dentist a note. She wrote that she was very confused about what had happened between them. She wrote that she had deeply appreciated the respect and kindness he had shown at the beginning of their relationship and that she didn't understand why he now disrespected her by not calling her when he said he would. If he wanted to break off contact, she understood, but she would prefer him to do so in a spirit of kindness. She went to his office and left the note with his secretary, who smiled at her conspiratorially.
"  e actually called about the note," she said to Lila. "He seemed like he really wanted to talk. His voice sounded different and everything."
"Yeah?" Briskly, Lila wrapped a piece of cellophane around Jill's chemical-treated hair. "How was his voice different?"
"More feeling. Softer." Like he was having the pleasure of an emotional experience that would cost him nothing. "He said he had just been sorry that the tooth experience turned out so badly and that's why he loaned me the computer. He apologized for not communicating and said he wasn't very emotionally connected but that he liked me a lot. I said, Well, do you want to fuck or not?"
"Hah!"
"I guess it was kind of obnoxious. Anyway, he said, no, he didn't think so. He said he couldn't do it just like that. He said he was from the Midwest and that they were gentlemen there. He said he had to go but that he'd call me, which of course he didn't."
"You should've told him that gentlemen call ladies when they say they will."
"Yeah, and anyway, what does he mean, that he's too much of a gentleman to do it with me?"
"Oh, no, I doubt it. Men are just funny. You remember that Italian guy I was with? I had a totally different situation with him. It was almost all sex right from the beginning."
"Was it nice?"
"It was...gymnastic. And it was nice for a while, but then I began to feel like he was treating me like a whore. So I told him that. And he said, You know, you're right." Lila nodded with a satisfied equanimity that was augmented by the smart, nimble movements of her working fingers. "That was pretty much the end of the relationship, which was too bad in a way. We actually liked each other a lot. But the sex thing just went over the top."
They were silent while Lila attended to Jill's hair. Jill enjoyed being enveloped in women's voices and canned music and hair dryer noise. She loved being in a room of women engaged in personal bodily rituals meant to fulfill the need for understandable public signals. The women who worked here had a slightly beat-up, stalwart air, and there was a gallantry to their little pieces of jewelry, their inexpensive but smartly belted and accessorized outfits, their fussy fingernails, the jiggling curls one wore on either side of her face.
"Lila, you used to be in Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, right?"
"Yeah, for a year and a half. Why?"
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