• Buy it before it is weaned so it don't know better.
• Beat it occasionally, but hard so it don't know what's coming next.
• Beat it when it looks like it's figuring things out.
• Keep it penned, watered, and fed so it knows what it's got.
• Make it live in its shit so it knows things get better.
• Pet it so it knows who's boss.
• Beat it when it barks.
• Beat it when it feels right.
• When it's sick, fix it or put it out of its misery.
• When it bites, beat it close to death and let it heal on its own.
• Be careful not to corner it--if you don't give it someplace to run, it will probably turn hard on you.
• When it runs away, know that you unleashed some hell on somebody else who doesn't know better because you raised the dog well.

John Joed is not alone. Psychotic oscillation is on the rise in the United States. If you suffer from inherited familial violence patterns or related borderline personality disorders, we would like to help you. Contact us at the JED BRAIN REHAB CENTER< and we will send you our bulletin. And remember: if you are a male with a history of violence, mixing testosterone with intoxicants and paranoia is a dangerous combination.