I'm certain that he imagined he was doing a great thing for me,
something I would remember for the rest of my life. He was right.
As I remember southern California in those days, it always seemed to have
too much sunlight and a steady dry wind which brightened the light even
more as it reflected off water and the chrome of cars. Even though I was
born in Anaheim-- a few years after the opening of Disneyland-- my parents
were from the Bronx and I half-imagined that I belonged on the dark, cold
eastern coast. Sunlight, particularly the bright blistering sunlight we had
on that day took me to see his boat, made me nervously afraid
for my fate. I imagined that someone would find me out and eject me from
paradise. Those were the days when I thought I wanted to be a priest like
Daniel Berrigan. I was a prized altar boy at La Purisima parish, and I
think my peace symbol had something to do with a half-baked commitment to a
God that I imagined to be more like Tom Hayden than .
had a bayfront house at the end of a long private drive.
asked me to wait outside while he retrieved . The entrance to the
house was hidden by a high block wall. I stood beside the open garage door
and watched for signs. The three car garage was empty but for 's huge
green Pontiac station wagon which had driven home on nights when
needed to borrow Dad's pickup. Beyond the Pontiac were shelves
stacked with film canisters, labelled with thick grey tape. I recognized
only a few of the maybe one hundred titles stacked against that far wall.
The Sands of Iwo Jima. McClintock! True Grit. At ten, I didn't know
enough to be properly impressed with the career that these films
represented, but just the weight of their presence made a big dent in my
mind. I took the time to remember what they looked like. I can still see
them now.