So now, technically speaking, I am a teaching squash pro. But in reality, I'm a prostitute, a therapist and a squash pro, in that order. And what I mean by that is that I provide a service and I have to give my clients what they want.

The sport doesn't have the same access as say basketball or baseball. A lot of the squash courts are located in private clubs so you have to join a club to play. You have to have a certain income. It's not readily accessible to a wide range of people. I'm not getting street kids in here, I'm not getting many different ethnic groups: I teach mainly white people--mainly men, adult men. It's a business club.

A lot of very intense business people come here and use squash as an outlet. Some get up at 5:30 in the morning, they get into the office before anyone else, they're working really hard, they need this two-hour pocket of the club. This is their social life. And sometimes squash is kind of like a fantasy for these high-powered people--they need to feel that they are great. So I let them win games. And I work at it. I mean, some of these guys I teach are really good, although there's nobody who can beat me at the club. But I still have to run to keep the rallies going. I work hard to make it seem like it's a game and they're having a fun time.

I don't just go out and lose to everyone, though. There are people who are more into strategy, so we talk strategy and I play them and it's more of a true learning thing. Then there are other people that I become friends with and I'm simply there as a sounding board. I'll play them as hard as they want me to play them. Usually, I'll play one level above them so they can get a good workout. Then there are other guys that want to test their ability and see how many points they can get from me, so they'll say "Kick my ass, Josh, make me run all over the courts." So I'll beat them 9-1 or 9-2. But they want that.

I get a taste from the moments that I talk to them of what my clients' lives are like, I get a small sliver of an idea of what they are like outside the club. Some of these people I admire, some of these people I admire pieces of and certain people I don't want to be like, I don't want to turn into. I want to be focused on myself, but I don't want to lose focus on my surroundings and the people around me. I mean, some of these people go to restaurants where I know they spend my monthly salary on a meal. And that's, you know, that's great. But at the same time, I think some of the successful people here put up screens so that they can get their job done. Then some of these people aren't able to put those screens down and they get seriously distracted. They're caught up in what they're saying, but they can't listen. I don't want to ever lose listening. When I'm teaching, I'm interacting. I have to teach students what I think they'll understand. I mean, being a dyslexic, I had to be taught information in a certain way, and I bring that care to my lessons.

I'm always trying to figure out whether the student is having a good time. I'm always asking myself, do I need to push them a little, is it time to have a fluffy fun lesson? A lot of times, I ask them want they want because they are paying for this time. I have to check and see that I'm delivering the product that they want. Sometimes I try to sneak in things that they may not say they want but in the long run they will want, maybe doing a little practice on a certain shot. Then later on, when they get better at that shot and start winning, they appreciate it.

There are times that you have to deal with people, give lessons to people, who aren't pleasant. There are times in the month when I'm like, "I'll be very glad when I get paid, but right now I'm not in the mood." But you gotta get psyched up for it 'cause you can't let them know that you are not in the mood for it. You're selling yourself and your sport. People won't come back if they think you're not interested in teaching them or you're not having fun. You have to make everybody feel that it's a very personal session. That's similar to a lot of jobs, including prostitution (laughs).

I get a weekly stipend from the club, which isn't very much, and I make my money mostly from teaching lessons--forty-five minutes for $25. I have some regular students, but you have to make sure you have those lessons coming in. I also make some money by stringing racquets, but I don't get paid enough. So I've gotta hustle. All the same, I really enjoy it.

This one gentleman that's seventy-five years old who I teach once a month, it's always a pleasure to get on the court with him. In the last three years, I've never beaten him, I've never taken a game from him. After every game, we go through this little ritual, he say, "Thanks for the gift, Josh." And then he serves the ball for the next game. These little things, I enjoy these moments, it's not just a job. I'm not just sitting behind a desk or on the other side of a phone, I'm a real person.

It comes back to the idea of being dyslexic. School was always a difficult thing for me. It was a very intimidating environment. And yet here I'm on a court with one other person, it's a one-on-one situation. I like knowing something well and I like the idea of teaching and I know squash well. Not only am I doing something that's fun for me, but it's fun for me to teach it. I'm also getting to share something. And these high-powered people are talking to me and want me to teach them how to serve better.

Growing up, I had really good teachers, but I'm not really trying to imitate them myself. It's not that I don't agree with any of their ways of teaching, it's just that I'm teaching in a different environment. I was taught in a very intense environment where the kids were taught to be great squash players, to compete and to win. Most of the people I teach now are here for completely different reasons. I'm not as intense about things as my teachers were. That was about razor-sharp strategy and win, win, win. Now I'm just overemphasizing that they have fun. I feel like I'm in a sitcom or something: put in something of value in every episode, I try to do that in every lesson. Maybe I won't feel like that in ten years. Maybe I won't care as much, but now I still have that fire, that's how I feel.

Squash has done so much for me in terms of building up my confidence and my character. I've met people and matured through playing. I mean, I came out of a very intense squash place where I worked really, really hard and my whole life was squash and it took me a long time to realize where other people are coming from, what is their background. Everyone is playing or doing things for different reasons, I've learned how to address people--and I've learned how to listen.

But still, I go back and forth with this as a long-term career for me. I need to do other things for myself besides teaching squash. I don't want to be relying on it when I'm sixty. It's a tough thing to do, you get injured. There have already been times when I've hurt myself and I've had to lay off for a week and I lose lessons. I got a foot fracture, I've had back problems. I don't want to be all hurt and crippled when I'm older.

And I have to prove something in other areas to myself and to people around me. A lot of my friends aren't athletic, which sets me apart in some ways from most squash pros. A lot of pros associate with people just in squash or sports, not that they don't have other interests, but they stick with their groups. It starts when they're growing up and just playing sports all the time. But I guess I'm more of a nomad because I have a lot of different interests. I'm interested in film and telling stories. Right now, I'm making a film about dyslexia. I'd love to do that: be a documentary filmmaker. I'd love to do a film about squash or a film where squash is used as a tool to communicate, as a way to show people something. I've already made one film on squash, in college, a two minute silent film called "The Mental Preparation that Went into a Squash Match." Basically it was the ritual of putting out my clothes and getting my squash gear. That ought to tell you something about how squash was dominating my life. Now it's a smaller piece of my life. But I've always played and I think I always will.

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