Camera Salesman
Bob Braine
Interviewed by John Bowe
I do telephone sales for a company that advertises in major national photographic hobby magazines like Popular Photograph, Shutter Bug, Peterson's Photographic, things like that. We also have a store in New York City. I sell everything from a $100 point-and-shoot camera to a $10,000 medium format system. And I actually enjoy what I do.

I got into this business because I went to art school and got a degree in photography. And I figured that the way to make money after I graduated was to work in a camera store temporarily. So I've been doing this since 1987. And I've been working for these Hasidic guys since 1989. That's almost ten years total, and it's been really good. I work too much, too many hours, and sometimes the pay is not exactly what I would want it to be for various reasons, but I certainly make an okay living at it. I'd be middle class by New York standards if I didn't have such large credit card debt and things like that.

The camera dealership where I work, we're what I consider a legitimate place. There are a lot of places that are totally not legitimate at all. But there are also a lot of different gradients of legitimacy in this business. The dealer cost on photographic equipment doesn't vary from company to company too much. Nobody gets an item from the manufacturer for much less than somebody else does, so the idea that there's actually going to be one really low price on something is kind of bullshit.

There are companies that misrepresent things entirely. I mean, say you have a Sony camcorder that costs you $800, and you're an authorized dealer--well, nobody pays less for that camcorder. Maybe somebody pays $5 lower or something. Whatever. But I'll have a customer call up, and they'll tell me that another dealer quoted them a price that's $100 less. And it's true, they did. Somebody else could quote them such a price. And my job is to de-mythify that price for them, and hope that they're smart enough to realize that if they just go after a low quoted price they're going to end up getting screwed.

Unfortunately, there's a certain kind of person who always thinks that there's going to be something better. And these people are not necessarily all that bright. They just have this personality. And you get people who say like, "Well, I got a price of $800 on this camcorder. Let me see. If I call more and more places, maybe I'll find it for even less." And that kind of person gets lost in this sort of limbo bullshit. And they end up going with a company that will charge them $150 for shipping and build their profit back up to where it should be in this totally roundabout, bullshit way.

I know about this because I shop my competition a lot. I call up and say, "Hey, how much is this, how much is that?" Place a whole big-ass fake order and find out, like, where they're making their money, and how they're doing it.

One of the scams that happens all the time is that a dealer will advertise a low price on like a Sony camcorder and then when a customer calls up, the dealer will invent a fictitious piece of equipment to like, bait and switch and boost his price. What happens is the dealer will say that the advertised low price is for a camcorder that's made in Malaysia, but that he's got another Sony camcorder that's made in Japan, with the same model number, but a different version than the advertised one that's made in Malaysia. Now Japan has the hallmark of being a quality place where something is manufactured. Malaysia has the ring of, like, being some sweat-soaked, humid, tropical environment and, you know, how can anything be made there any legitimate way? But it's bullshit. Sony doesn't make their camcorders in Malaysia. They make them in Japan. All of them. So these dealers create a fictitious piece of equipment, and then tell the customer that that equipment is no good, even though the advertised price is supposedly for this piece of equipment. And this all occurs after they have their credit card number and have them sort of locked into an order.

I mean, I've heard all sorts of shticks. As many ways as somebody could tell a lie is the way a lot of these things are sold. And the fact that there are so many of these companies that are in business leads me to believe that the American public is so fucking stupid sometimes that they don't know a legitimate deal when they hear it.

But, you know, I enjoy dealing with people, actually. And I'm very polite on the phone. I think a lot of my competition, they're simply not polite. They don't know how to actually talk to somebody and just treat them like a human being, you know? Like the other day, this old woman calls up and she wants a pair of Zeiss binoculars. And Zeiss are, like, the most expensive binoculars you can get and certainly among the very best. I don't believe in the concept of something being "the best." I mean, that doesn't exist. There are so many high end products of many different types. There's not one thing that is "the best."

Anyway, this woman wants a pair of 10x40 binoculars. And she starts telling me this story: "I want to get them for my husband," she says, "--he's the one who uses them." A really quavery, old-woman voice. So I listen and then, well, I'm an authorized dealer and I say to her, "This is the price, and this is your shipping." I always make sure to tell people shipping, because a lot of times companies will make their profit by overcharging on the shipping. And people fall for that kind of bullshit. They don't consider the shipping price as part of the price. That's like the psychology that a lot of people take. But anyway, so I quote the price and this old woman goes, "All right, I'm going to shop around, and I'll call you back." Then she calls me back, and she said, "There's a couple of places that have price a little cheaper than you." And I'm thinking, "Yeah, right. That's not true--" Then she goes, "But I'm going to go with you because you're so nice." And I think she meant it.

She was like, "You're the most polite young man I've ever spoken to on the phone." And then she starts telling me what she's going to be using the binoculars for. Actually, I asked her about it. She lives in Laramie, Wyoming. A sweet sounding woman, you know? And I do a lot of bird watching, and I fish a lot. I'm outside a lot. And because I figure, if they're in the west and they buy a ten power Zeiss, it's because they're hunting. And she's, like, "Well, we're hunting." Then she goes, "I kill elk. I kill deer. I kill bear." And she goes through this whole list of all the shit she kills. And she goes, "And you know those little pocket gophers? Well, I have about 150 acres out here, and when I walk my ankle twists in the pocket gopher holes. So I shoot those little suckers." You know? She's into it. But she was funny. And then she placed an order with me. And the next day her husband calls me back. And he said, "I want to thank you for helping my wife out. She was really impressed, and we really appreciate it. She had talked to so many other people and gotten really upset." You know, because some people are like, "Yeah, look, you want it lady, yes or no? No? Okay." Click. And, you know, they'll hang up before the customer will or something like that. Which is always bad. You always wait for the customer to hang up first. That way they feel as if they are in control of the situation.

But anyway, her husband calls up, and he's, like, "She is the most adorable little killer." He says this to me. Exactly like that. "We'll glass out a herd of those big horn sheep, and I'll say, 'Okay, take the third one from the left.' And she'll knock it right down with a lung shot." Or whatever. It was fucking precious. And this is just an example of the kind of stuff people tell me all the time.

It's almost like you're in a glass bottom boat sometimes. You're able to, like, see what these people are doing, you know, just by talking to them on the phone. I had one guy telling me he's a bear specialist. He had also bought binoculars from me. And he said he got into the bears because he had gone camping, and he was taking a shit in the woods, and he was squatting down holding the tree, you know? And he said he looked over and about ten feet away was a female grizzly just looking at him. He goes, "...my asshole clenched up so tight you couldn't have fucking hammered a pencil into it." (Laughs) I thought that was hilarious.

And I have a collection of letters that people have written me. Some are just requests for things. "I am an old ex-Marine who's sitting on my porch in Alabama wanting a camera." You know, stuff like that. Really wacky shit. I have a lot of it. There are a lot of people out there who want things to be sent for free.

So I guess I'm pretty involved with my customers. And I think I understand them pretty well. I mean, you've got people who you know can't afford what they're buying, and they're buying it on credit cards. And being somebody who is immersed in credit card debt, I have a certain compassion for them. Then I also see people who think that the purchase of a large thing will change your life. And if you see my apartment, it is loaded with goods of every kind. I have so many cameras it's ridiculous. I have a lot of outdoor equipment and things like that. Much of which was purchased thinking that if I had this device my life would somehow be better. (Laughs)

I've even wanted to ask women out while I'm working, but I'm like, well, it's not a legitimate way to approach somebody. I mean, if you're helping somebody and they know you're helping them, there's a kind of bond there already. You've got your foot in the door sort of. You know? But unless there's a real, real reason to do it, I never do it. So I've dated a few customers over the years, but not many. Very few, really. But when I go down to the store sometimes, I realize like if I were a different kind of person I could really be going wild. You know, I could be like a total what they call a manivel. That's a Yiddish expression. A manivel is somebody who's like a fucking slimeball. Like there's this guy I used to work with who has a tremendous collection of slides of women who he has convinced to take their clothes off for him. Thousands of these slides. He used to work in a camera store in midtown Manhattan. And he started like the late '60s maybe, and through the whole '80s, you know, when the fucking cameras and mail order thing broke out and there was like a feeding frenzy. He worked in a store in midtown, and he would convince women to go down to the basement and take their shirts off. And he's got the pictures to prove it. But that's a whole different thing. I'd never do anything like that. I mean, I wouldn't even think of it.

One day, I'd like to take a couple of months off work and do a road trip throughout the United States and throughout some areas in the world too. And just visit my customers. You know, live with them and take pictures of them. I could do it, too. I have customers in Eastern Europe, I have customers in South Africa and South America who I could go to and say, "Hey, you know, I'm the guy who hooked you up with your camera, blah, blah, blah." And there's like a bond of trust between us that is very powerful.

And I know that I could go in there and stay with them. I get invitations all the time. You know, "Come to Alaska." You know, "When you come to Alaska you had better stop here. You had better say hi to us." You know, blah, blah, blah. So I would love to do a project where I go and meet all these people and just see what they're doing, what their lives are like, and stuff like that.

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