This week's true-life testimonial:
MY GHOSTLY, NEAR-DEATH, UFO EXPERIENCE
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Hello. I am Daryoshatari. I have never been the type of
double brained, half human, half-home-video-arcade-system to believe in
the "paranormal." But just a few weeks ago, I had an unusual
experience that changed my life. I was on a Mojave desert camping expedition, just outside of Edwards airforce base in Nevada. It was nighttime. I was lying in my oxygen tent, staring up at the starry desert sky, when all of the sudden, I noticed three blinking red lights, far in the distance, moving rapidly in a hypnotic, serpentine pattern. I was so distracted by this mysterious sighting that I failed to notice a giant chasm opening in the ground beneath me. Before I knew it, I had fallen what seemed like hundreds of feet below the surface of the earth, into a frothy pool of sweltering magma. My circuits began to overload. I knew that in a matter of minutes, the fiery lava would melt my durable wood-toned-plastic outer shell and destroy my delicate electronic core. My joysticks thrashed about helplessly. Was I to be buried for all eternity in this molten mud bath? |