Sunday December 23, 7:48 P.M.


I'm babysitting at the D___'s 
again, "A Doll's House" is on TV.  They're coming 
home at 8:00.  For the 3rd time in a row, Mr. 
D___ was more than 15 minutes late picking me up. 
Lisa's rattling her crib. I've missed about 20 
mins. of the show already. The D___'s have lights 
on their tree, but they're not on. We've got to think 
of something to do on New Year's. I hope I didn't 
forget to do anything, yesterday stupid John (D___) 
broke a crystal glass. I hate little kids, & I 
hate this house. It's so grubby. Mrs. D___ is so 
sweety-sweety, the sticky house must be from her 
charm oozing out all over the place. Mr. D___ seems 
uncomfortable. He doesn't know what to say to me.

Jane Fonda is a good actress. I hope I make the 
spring play at school, or else if I don't, I'll go 
to theater school. I want to get a job as soon as 
I'm 16, so I can have lots of money. I should have 
sort of a basic plan for myself & what I want to do. 
God, that ABC movie thing is so loud & so are 
the commercials. It wrecks the mood. What do I want 
to do? What do I want to be? Smart, Pretty, Nice, a 
good cook, Different, Original, Creative, Popular, & 
RICH.  I'm NOT gonna be a mental case. I'd 
like to be a clothes designer, or an architect, but I'm 
too absent-minded to be an architect. I read about a 
famous genius, I forgot who it was, who designed 
this huge, perfect, wonder-mansion-- & forgot the 
stairs. Fuck, the D___'s are 15 mins. late. Oh, well, 
at least I get more money for just watching T.V. let's 
see... 6:00 -- 8:15 = 1.15 approximately. God, 50 
cents an hr. is such a rook. But I can't ask 
for more or they won't call me anymore, cuz Ann C_____ 
only charges that much.

They have candles on the tree on T.V. It's in the 
Victorian age. I wonder when Steve W___'s birthday is, 
because I wonder what zodiac sign he is. I'd be soooooo 
happy if he liked me, but the problem is, he doesn't. 
If I remember right, he invited Harriett somewhere this 
summer. 
I wonder why? I think he likes helpless females.