Sunday, Dec. 16


Maintenant il est deux heures 
le matin. C'est aujourd'hui le vingt-et-un 
de decembre. I just went to the Woodhill party 
with Lisa & Roxanne, it was pretty fun. I got 
tres bombed & as usual my cheeks turned red....
I think I'll read ahead in history, if I read 
it twice & then AGAIN for tests, I'll get straight A's.  
Tomorrow I hope Franny gets that acid so we can go to 
Marie M___'s.

Why Why Why   I hate this! I hate to admit it, 
but all I can think about is Steve W___. The bad thing 
about it is, he really is a lot like Kevin in looks 
and personality. [Dave B___ is a martyr.] Also, 
I know he either hates me or just tolerates me. 
"Oh her? She's OK, I guess. I never notice her." Also, 
he's prejudiced against blacks. What a fucker! I don't 
know what to do, he's soooo good-looking, at least 
tonight he was. God, what would I do if I could 
read his mind & he was thinking of me right now! I 
haven't liked anyone like this in quite a while--it's 
usually based on looks.  The guys at Blake are 

So am I, of course, so I can't expect someone cute to 
like me, that wouldn't be fair. I WISH I WAS PRETTY!!! 
Too bad I'm not. I never will be, either. 
I need operations on my arms, legs, feet, hands, body, 
nose, lips, face, hair, neck, etc. That's all, nothing 
big you know. Just a complete and total renovation of me. 
Oh I forgot, my personality has to go, too--
& my voice. & accent.