Saturday May 4, 5:10 P.M.
in my bed


 

Haven't written for a while, too bad. Haven't had much to say,
probably. Spent the night at Lisa D__'s & it wasn't any fun hardly.
Everyone gets on my nervs so much I just don't like anybody any more.
I really try to ignore it but other people & I just don't think alike
anymore. That "Man Alone" course sure sounds perfect for me, I'm so
alienated from people it's pitiful. I'm also so paranoid it kills me.
It keeps me from having fun so much of the time.

I know that, say, Nottie  couldn't do anything if she caught me doing
anything bad but I'd have to go talk to her & I'd be so embarrassed &
miserable I'd probly cry. That would be terrible. I always let
my emotions show so much. Face it, I'm too sensitive & paranoid. I
want to make a long list of improvements I should make in myself &
start on them one by one, starting a new one as soon as the old one is
pretty solid, on & on until I'm done. What would be on the list? 1)
suppress paranoia, 2) hide emotions, 3) don't tell everything about
yourself, 4) say everything only once, 5) don't talk about
other people, etc. I'm too tired to think anymore. G'bye.
Oh...also...6) stop being a perfectionist!  OK.