April 11, 7:45pm 

 

Hmmm...Dad's at AA. I'm watching...Moiv Griffen. Of course, as soon as I 
turn it on it's Gene Hackett & Eileen Brennan talking about-----Robert Redford. 
["Private...but thoughtful & nice."] Everywhere ya go... I wonder if he likes 
it or what? I don't really care. Today Jill Mc______ told me I have a nose 
exactly like Barbra Streisand, & she wasn't kidding.That was nice of her, ha ha. 
I've been failing lately in my attempts to keep things to myself...
at least I didn't tell anyone about going up on NCS's roof...but I came close. 
What am I trying to prove? That I'm cool & interesting. Why? So people will like me. 
What for? So I can have friends. But, if friendship is based on what I do, 
instead of what I am, then its not a very good friendship. Friendship is 
as rare as true love. Maybe they're the same thing, only love had sex involved, too. 

God, I sure am ugly. 
I wish I wasn't. 
It would make things 
so much easier. 

How can anyone give themselves away so much that they'd do a commercial for 
something they don't even use, believe in, or recommend? I could never do 
that...I think. I don't know, what if I really needed money? I'm hoping that 
I'll learn how to totally support myself and won't need money, but ya never know. 

What's the sense in playing golf? Jack Nicklaus has all the technical details 
planned out...why go thru all that trouble? (money)