Sat. Mar. 16Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It's cold today. My room is cold. There's a hum, it's my mom under the hairdryer. The radio is on. I can smell the cork of my bulletin board. My jeans are soft because they're so dirty. My Wallabees are soft. My sweater is scratchy. I see cluttered desk notes in front of me. I hear a song I like coming on the radio. Hello Cowgirl In the Sand by Neil Young. Well right now I'm having my first cigarette since Jan. 1st. It's a Kent that I stole from Lolly. It doesn't even hurt my throat--I guess cuz it's been conditioned by dope. It actually feels mild compared to pot. I really enjoy smoking. It is bad for me, though, & I'm not gonna start smoking regularly again. Just occasionally. Spring fever caused this urge, I guess. Now I'm on the 2nd and it's getting harsher. I put it out because the 2nd half is worse for ya. Bought some cigarettes for Nan at the club. She smokes Old Gold. I'm glad I finally got some earrings. I love little hoops. I wonder if I should go to John Denver. It's been a week since the ad came out. I should've called Monday morning. I wonder if this is going to be another non-vacation. I'm sort of glad I'm not going somewhere for vacation. It's bad for your skin to get tan. But it sure looks good. Sarah and I just talked on the phone for an hour & a half. She thinks she's possessed.
Now I was just talking to Nan for a while. People like that who want to know all about me make me nervous. I wonder if that says something about them, or me? I'll have to figure that one out. After talking with people like that, I always feel like I've shown too much of myself. When I (grow up?) am independent, I must invent 2 machines. 1) a neutralizer machine, & 2) a split-ender. In the neutralizer machine, a fat person & a skinny person would walk in together, & walk out both normal. In the split ender, you'd stick your head in a hold of a wall or a box, & instantly rays would detect all the split ends on your head & dissolve them 1/2 inch above the split. I'd make sooooooooo much money if I could invent those. I could retire & do whatever I wanted, like Howard Hughes & Hugh Hefner. I always used to get those 2 mixed up because of the "Hugh" in their names. My poor little fishy hasn't been fed in a long time.
Now who could I get dope from? Oh I forgot to say this but when we toked yesterday at the barn, we did it with Bethy M____. She's just like Fries only not so much. No wonder they call her Little Fries. I wonder what Mr. M____ is like? Those 2 aren't at all like Mrs. M____. I'd like to talk with Fries's shrink & see what he thinks of her. I think she's really smart & really sensitive to other people. It's just like that Don McLean song about Van Gogh..."But I could have told you--this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." That fits my feelings about her exactly.
