Sue Knickerbock's Cleavage

A sight I hope I'll always get to see
is Susie's cleavage smiling up at me
or down, or sideways, any way is fine
as long as I can see that lovely line
that's formed between her soft, delicious breasts
where my nose, if I'm lucky, gently nests
or where a drop of sweat teasingly slips
just visible when Sue gracefully dips
before a layup. Or where shadows slide
along the secret silken path to hide
and mingle there amid the heated swell:
to me there couldn't be a greater hell
than being told that I may ne'er unlock
the interstices of Miss Knickerbock!





Any other sonnet fans out there? Send me a sonnet.
If I like it I'll put it up on my next home page (with critique, of course), and you will have fame.

Here's what impresses me in a sonnet:
It's got to be 14 lines of iambic pentameter. I happen to be kind of uptight about meter.
If you manage to establish something in the first eight lines and then comment or reflect on it in the last six lines, that's good.
I'm fairly loose about rhyme scheme. Doesn't have to be ABAB CDCD EFEF GG, but it's got to be disciplined somehow.
Dazzling me with your final couplet is a good strategy.
If you'd feel better reading a few more before you try one, click here. 





newstaff